Sometimes in this Writing Process from scraps to ruff to finish~ How the Goddess of Wisdom Taught Me the Tarantella as read by the poet


so the way this went was up in bed this morning after second coffee. only paper sticky notes (pink) sitting quiet spacey then this came first the tongues then other bits. Now I’ll transcribe into first ruff draft. this time using keyboard. sometimes a yellow pad is the first transcription. Sometimes there is only one sometimes there are many edits, the number depends on my things but mostly on my self. some photos of the original notes as you may see it is part of the illegible scribble that is an integral part of the process .

So the first bit =

And she said look

And I did seeing the play of sunlight slip

 along the green hills a silver streak above the valley

a river mirroring catching sapphires between the roiling cumulus clouds….

SO Right away i notice too many the’s breaking up the image. Also I need to look up cumulus to make sure hos are the clouds I want… lets try it this way ~

she said look so I did seeing the play of sunlight slip

 along green hills a silver streak along the valley

a river mirroring, catching sapphires from between cumulus clouds 

Or Wait Maybe This ?

she said look so I did seeing the play of sunlight slip

 along green hills a silver streak along the valley

a river mirroring, catching sapphires from between the cumulus…

So as you can tell or if not let me tell you it is a longish process sometimes. Anyway here’s the rest a first ruff ~

How the Goddess of Wisdom Taught Me the Tarantella 

she said look so I did seeing the play of sunlight slip

 along green hills a silver streak along the valley

a river mirroring, catching sapphires from between the cumulus 

she said sing

so i offered 

breathless wordless a what else can i do but be true refrain

harmonic of all i’d seen and all i’d ever see

she said dance

so we embraced a dance named for spiders

mingling sweat lead our lips to meet

undisciplined tongues ballerinas  inside our mouths

she said hush

so i  took breath 

together we sunk dampness upon a warm green earth

she said know

and I was certain.

and so as of 30 july 2021 this is where its at ~

How the Goddess of Wisdom Taught Me the Tarantella 

she said look

so I saw the play of sunlight slip

  green hills a silver streak along the valley

a river mirroring, catching sapphires between the cumulus 

 

she said sing

so i offered 

breathless wordless a true refrain

harmonic of all I’d seen

 all I’d ever see

 

she said dance

so, we embraced a dance named for spiders

 lead our lips to meet

our mouths undisciplined

tongues ballerinas

 

she said hush

so together we sank damp

upon a warm green earth

 

she said know

and I was certain.

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Comments

  • Edward-David Ruiz  On July 31, 2021 at 12:47 am

    Excellent, but why not look at the entire matter as a prose poem?  Thought I’d share my two cents’ worth. Keep well and God bless. e/sP.S. Jsut watched last night a film whose subject matter is aged(?), ’71, which is set in Belfast…the vents of one day compressed into one.

    Liked by 2 people

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